It Has Arrived.

HyTop's predictions for 07-08:

-SW Division Champs: Dallas Mavericks. Titans of the regular season, they will once again be revealed as demigods when they ascend to the playoffs. It's their destiny. The Spurs, of course, will pick their spots and win a lot of games. They know how to save it.

-Pacific Division Champs: Phoenix Suns. Steve Nash has some years left in him. He has it figured out. Amare will be better, but still overrated. Grant Hill will make everyone smile. Marion will appear where he needs to be, and will leave his insecurities off the floor (he does this every year, people).

-NW Division Champs: Your Denver Nuggets! That's right. I'm hard on these guys because I know what they could become. This is the year. They will defeat an injury-plagued Utah team and win the division with 56 victories. Everyone else in the Division is cannon fodder.

-Eastern Conference Champs: Boston Celtics. They will play a pretty brand of ball as KG controls the offense and defense from the high post. Paul Pierce will reveal that, in addition to posting up, getting to the line, and drilling threes in crunch time, he can move without the ball. Ray Allen will be exposed as a brittle jump shooter who has always been second tier at best. Luckily, that's all this team needs.

The Eastern Conference Playoffs will be a war. Things are improving. Detroit knows how these things work. They won't go down easily. The Bulls are an extension of Scott Skiles' will, plus a midget shooting guard without a conscience. They get fractionally better each year. No one wants to play them. New Jersey still has the best point in the league (yeah I said it). But Boston will emerge, and they'll do it elegantly. However...

-NBA Champs: San Antonio Spurs. This is Duncan's last year of true greatness. He will take Nash's heart once more in the WCFs, then sweep the Celtics. These Spurs know the answers to questions the Celtics haven't even asked yet. Once more into the breach for T. Duncan.

After 07-08, the Spurs will ease into their new role: the Old Guard of the Western Conference. They will battle young squads in the Second Round, lose a few game 7s, and that will be that. There is no shame here. Duncan is already legit top 10 EVER, as is Popovich. But Ginobili has been aging in dog years. And Parker is less than you think. The Iron Curtain will fall, but not this year.

-MVP: LeBron James. Ugh. His team will be much worse, but he'll put up numbers, numbers, numbers, then lose in the first or second round. Darkhorse: Kevin Garnett. He might not score 20 a game, but he'll lead the league in triple-doubles and exclusive interviews. It'll be fun to watch him. But in the playoffs, watch his darting eyes. He feels the sky falling.

-ROY: Kevin Durant. He will drop 21 on 38% shooting. He won't rebound or pass very much, will guard no one. That will be enough. Darkhorse: Luis Scola.

-Coach: George Karl. I think he's figured out the equation that eluded him for these many years. He has the players buying in. He will limit his sniping in the media. He'll give a good quote. No one in his immediate family will have cancer. This is his year. I predict that he will succeed. If he fails, he should be gone. This team is built like that: all or nothing. I'm betting on all. Darkhorse: Avery Johnson. He just cares so damn much.

Hope.

HyTop only has so much hate in his heart. There is room for hope, as well.



Once, long ago, a group of introspective young men, embattled and hated, found solace in the thin whisper of a pink, balding titan.






As humans, we are doomed to repeat the failures of our predecessors. Perhaps these mysterious forces also compell us to emulate their successes?










(Sim-u-l8r, the man who dropped the epic Bzdelik post last week, has HyTop's full endorsement. He is known as the King of All Media outside of New York. In New York he is not known at all.)

El Jefe in: The Return Of the King!

"Be Fearless, Let it all hang out there. . . "
--Bzdelik to an 8th grader looking for advice on making his school basketball team

HYTOP'S EXCLUSIVE BZDELIK INTERVIEW!! (Audio of interview at the bottom)

Jeff Bzdelik is a soft-spoken man with soft attributes and a cushiony-soft personality. If you don't believe me, just look at his picture




But don't let that fool you. On the Hardwood, the man's a *SOLDIER* SINGLEHANDEDLY coaching the single best turnaround for ANY TEAM IN NBA HISTORY. Jeff, during the 2003-04 season, accomplished something NO OTHER NBA COACH HAD EVER DONE-- making the Nuggets the first sub 20-game winning team to make the playoffs the following year!

Another thing very few NBA coaches have accomplished? Getting to the semifinals of the NIT! Not to mention that his average playoff wins/appearance as a Nuggets Coach Ties him with current Nuggets Coach George Karl.

We caught up with our old friend at a CU bookstore signing, and he, as he so aptly put it, "let it all hang out." Not too many people seemed fazed by Bzdelik's presence in the CU Bookstore; it was Parent's weekend, and CU sweatshirts, Nalgenes, and carabiners seemed to be getting all the attention. Bzdelik still savored the moment-- his NBA years, for now, are in the rear-view mirror, and even if an NBA team wanted to sign him, they would have to exceed the 800,000$ contract that CU lavished on him last April.

During the off season, multiple NBA teams learned this lesson the hard way:
To Sign a 'Bzdelik', you have to be willing to pay 'Bzdelik' Money.

To Sign a General, you need to be less a team and more an Institution. Many in the media wonder: was CU the right fit, or was it the only fit? Try to ask Jeff-- all you'll get is a soft smile. He Knows it don't matter-- he Got his and now he's gonna make sure CU gets theirs!

Jeff Bzdelik--The quintessential soft spoken man of action-- Isn't that how the best always are?


*****Audio****

The first part of the interview (~1 min), Bzdelik talks to a kid in a Cubs Jersey about being a young Cubs fan in Chicago. The boy's father asks Jeff what advice he has for his son on making the 8th grade basketball team; his reply: "Be Fearless, Let it all hang out there. . . Just Like the Cubbies!"



The second part of the interview (~30 seconds) Jeff praises the young Carmelo Anthony. Since everything this man says is thoughtful and tempered, when he does give such high praise to an athlete, it's worth taking note.




-*Sim-u-l8r*-

Do You Trust This Man?

The good natured fellow above is the key to the Nuggets universe. I know, I know. I'm worried too.

Cards on the table: I've always liked his game, more than most. It's easy for older, paler folks to discount him, because of the chest-pounding, the tats, the flagrant fouls, the stuttering "knowwhatimsayin" interviews. And, let's be honest, the game, constructed around frightening athleticism and barely controlled aggression. Remember when he body checked professional softie Eddy Curry all those years ago? I was scared for the kid. (Also, a little scared that Kenyon would be absorbed into the pillowy abyss that is Ed's midsection.)

On the other hand, teams need that. Teams like the Nuggets, with Baby Phat at the 3, Mr. Glass patrolling the middle like a hummingbird, and Calf-Strain Hilario watching cow-eyed from the bench.

We need toughness. We need speed and explosion and the occasional hard foul. We need to knock down Tony Paker, dammit! The league knows this. The coaches know this. Kenyon knows this.

The rapidly decomposing corpse of Charley Rosen and the buttery enigma known as Tim Thomas have both tossed 'fugazi' accusations at our boy in the recent past. From their respective glass houses. Listen: I don't give a fuck if you're hard or street or whatever. That's for fetishists, kids who watch too much TV, and dudes who want to distract from the fact that dude from Atmosphere is their favorite MC.



So fine, he's a fake ass thug. Whatever gets Timmy through the day. On the court, where it matters, K has never looked soft to me. Unskilled? At times. Out of control? Yeah. Overzealous? Certainly.

But here's the thing: K caught two oops from Iverson in the first quarter of his preseason debut. I like that. Develop that. Cuz, for all of A.I.'s faults (detailed elsewhere), he's a guy who men will follow. Legends are hard to come by anymore, and he uses his.

As good as Melo is, he's not a leader of men. Don't get me wrong, he's cool, everyone likes him, he's a great guy. But on the court, he's gonna get his 30 regardless, silky and cold. Which is great if you need 30, or if you need a dude to make a jumper as time expires. But Manny Ramirez isn't inspiring his teammates to new heights, you know? He just gets his and smiles a lot.

A.I. makes people play harder, makes 'em believe. And let's be real: Kenyon's a believer. That's why he hates Tim Thomas, for what all that implies. So here we are: K is back. And K wants to be the muscle. Which is good, cause our boys need backup.

INJURY REPORT

A.C. BROKE HIS HAND YALL! With injury news I like to wait a little while, just to make sure Medical Science and/or Our Lord And Saviour don't make me look like a fool. Alas, despite several days of ritual sacrifice and minor self-mutilation, Anthony "Get" Carter's hand bone appears to be broke. The teams' Toughness rating just dropped a bit. However, Outside Shooting jumped three points. Gnarly Goatees plummetted, of course. That was a veteran goatee. A net loss for the Nuggets.

At least he's optimistic.


NENE IS FAT AS HELL! Did you see him at the FIBA Americas thing? Wow. The big fella looked hef-ty. They got all that meat on swords down there, right? Was that what he's been doing? I thought he found Jesus and married his Personal Trainer last year? Now they're both failing him!? Ne! My Man! LISTEN TO JESUS: GLUTTONY IS A SIN!

Seriously, three times down the court and he was sweating like Martin Lawrence in a gigantic leather baseball jersey.
(Thought I was going to go with the Rubber Suit on the highway, didn't you? I don't mock a man's pain. I only take shots at the top.)

(I can't find a pic to do Plump Nene justice, so just combine these two cats in your newly opened mind.)





































In related news, Melo is looking a little chunky, maybe a bit more than usual, but word out of Nuggets camp is that this is how LaLa likes him: with a little meat on his bones. God bless them both.

How you feeling Melo?

Denver Nuggets Basketball IQ Report Card

I. HONOR ROLL

None at present. RIP John Crotty. Just kidding. But I just needed a GOD category where I’d put the Kidds and the Nashes and the Battiers.

II. BASKETBALL SMART

MARCUS CAMBY – Camby almost might be too smart. Dude could lead the league in boards and blocks, get three steals a game and shoot 50% if he went hard. There’s nothing on the court he can’t do, on those nights when he decided to throw up 17 20 6 4 and 4. He can pass, he can go to the rack. If he wanted to be some kind of hero, he would also get two to three putback dunks a game.

This stuff isn't physical. He has exceptional feel for the game at both ends of the floor. Sammy Dalembert cannot do this stuff. But Marcus lays low for now, protecting his fragile body, not jumping pick and rolls, half-assing man-to-man defense, and unleashing the slowest jumper in the world from the top of the key (which he makes at an almost-respectable clip). Dude is playing lots of games, and putting up numbers as an old-ass dude, but if you watch him every night, you realize that he’s only giving you what he needs to. Still blocks shots. This laying low is kind of another sign of his IQ, the fact that he can go half speed and affect the outcome of every game.

So do I put him up here, cuz he understands the whole game and picks his spots? Or do I drop his down cuz he could dominate (could be MVP-level IMO, not joking) and settles for very good. I’m putting him up here cuz I like his interviews. Dude is better than John Lynch with the clichés. You almost believe them!

EDDIE NAJERA – Cuz he fucking cuts to the basket. Takin notes Nene? J.R.? Eddie also shows hard on pick-and-rolls, makes mostly smart passes, and finishes on the other side of the rim cuz he can’t jump anymore.
Good player. He looks stupider than he is cuz he runs around like a dying chicken all the time, but don’t hate, it got him a contract.

(Incidentally, I wish he would play on the Mexico team and gets his twenty shots a game. That would be hilarious. He was good as hell in college! Like 18 ppg!)

III. I THINK HE GETS IT!

MELO – Quick shots. No more than three (maybe four) dribbles. Minimizes the jab step jumpers (although he can’t resist one once a quarter). Posts up everyone. Doesn’t shoot threes (til he started making ‘em at the end of the year). Bottom line: Melo is coachable as fuck. He could just be Jerry Stackhouse circa ’99, dropping 28 on 39%, but he took Karl’s advice and gets significantly better every year. Maybe every game. Last year the Spurs couldn’t stop him in the playoffs and he was paying 1 on 5. He can pass too, people just don’t like to admit it. Give him two Eddie Najeras instead of one and he gets 6 apg no sweat.



Okay, fine, he’s coachable on one end of the floor. That’s why he’s down here in Category Three. He’s been falling asleep on D since AAU games. Karl tries, I think. At least, he seems to really be chewing those cough drops. Real thoughtful like.

But Melo remains awful off the ball on D, mediocre on it. That’s gotta change. I don’t give him a pass just like I don’t give one to Dominique. Your best player can’t sleepwalk through half the game.

KENYON MARTIN – I don’t even remember what he looks like anymore, but I hear he’s got 4% body fat! Which would be awesome if he wasn’t and undersized Big Forward with no post game. But I Digress. K-Mart’s smarter than you think. He stays out of the way until clean up time, when he swoops in for the alley oop or the put back. He learned how to play aggressive chest-pounding defense without drawing too many cheap fouls. He is scary without getting too many Ts. Of course, I may be talking about the deceased right now.
He’s a dude who uses his athleticism with a certain degree of intelligence and subtlety, but if he loses it then he’s not even post-injury LaPhonso, cuz of that nasty looking jumper and the “handles”. But remember that dunk at the end of the Clips game last year. Holy shit, that was KENYON, you know? And one of those knees had already been done. Pray for the other.

(Also he goal tends way too much for a dude who can’t block shots for shit (the latter of which is not his fault, cuz he’s fucking smaller than Melo)) (used to could, in smaller ponds)


IV. YOU TAKE THE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD

Nene – Dude passes like a soccer player, draws charges, has a bunch of quick/strong post moves, has quick hands and feet on D and O. Dude also fouls everyone, finishes far less often than his high shooting percentage would have you believe (I know that doesn’t make sense, but watch the game. Watch the lefty finger rolls spin out.), gets morbidly obese at a moment’s notice and still doesn’t speak any English. Hell he might not even speak Portugese.



I may be penalizing Nene for his General intelligence, rather than his BBIQ but I already wrote it. He could still be very good. Such are his gifts.

A.I. –
He is an all-time great and he doesn’t have a position. He’s too good not to play but maybe too weird to succeed. He does what he does and you know what that’s gonna be. Everyone knows.






V. WHAT WAS THAT!?!

LINAS KLEIZA – God, but he tries, doesn’t he?
He gets the white boy treatment by the announcers and the ‘best work ethic ever’ from the coaches, but dude still can’t figure it out. If he’s not shooting, dunking, or boarding, dude is lost. Hell, if he hesitates for a second on a three, it’s as good as done. He is a born athlete, fast and strong and fairly explosive, but he is not a born basketball player. And so they put his 235 ass out there on the perimeter. Ha! (Could still be good, contributed last year, etc. I’m not hating, just saying.)


YAKHOUBA DIAWARA – He can D up, but it’s that kind of D where he gets blinders and just is up on dude’s chest for the whole play. Which is valuable. It’s kind of why he’s in the League.
But on offense, well, you can tell he played post until like two weeks ago. Dude is scared to make a swing pass. He’ll make a three once in a while, but if he’s gonna be this pretarded on offense, he’s gotta be Ben Wallace on D and he’s not. Even Bruce Bowen runs to the right spot and makes the shot.


Z. SPECIAL NEEDS


J.R. Smith – He’s like if you made a character in a video game and spent all your points on Jumping, Three Point Shooting, Speed, Size, etc, and ended up with 0 awareness.


It’d be cool to jump into his body for a day. Yeah, you heard me, I just said I want to be inside J.R.

Of course, you gotta say: He’s Young! He might just figure it out!


?. PENDING FURTHER OBSERVATION

ANTHONY CARTER – seems smart, but maybe he’s just hard-nosed and not very good.

STEPHEN HUNTER – What he does doesn’t need smarts…which is good, cuz from what I’ve seen…

PLASTIC MAN – I don’t think he’s very smart, but I always liked him.

VON WAFER – I’m guessing he’s got a low BBIQ cuz his skill set is there and he’s athletic as fuck, but he's been chillin in the D-League for a year or two. There's gotta be a screw loose. But then I go: isn’t he kind of a combo guard? You can’t be fully stupid if you can play the point. We'll see, this man is on Hytop's radar.

And, of course, the most hilarious signing of the offseason:



(Shit, maybe he’s been Sam Cassel all along!! A man can dream.)


NOTE: ALL STATS ARE NOT RESEARCHED>>>THEY ARE TOP OF THE DOME AND MAY BE WRONG>>>CORRECT ME>>>HYTOP OUT

Respect the Dead and Fear their Return

Allen Iverson had it all figured out. See he made his flaws his strengths. He was too small, well, shit he’d be faster than everyone else, get a step deeper into the trees than anyone else could, or would. Didn’t a consistent jumper, didn’t make ‘em play him close? He’d reconfigure the rules, change direction twice, three times with the ball still on his hand and dare the ref to call it. Most of ‘em didn’t.



He was a thug? He fought in bowling alleys or some shit? He’d get more tatted up, go to corn rows first (or close to it), throw his wife out naked. Nah, I’m playing, that wasn’t cool. But you know what I mean: he was real. Whatever real meant in the late nineties—maybe a half a percent more than it means now, which still ain’t much. But he was real. Kids like that. It’s easy to say, easy to type. He’s real. Win you some arguments.

He was East Coast and so out here we only caught glimpses. He’d go for fifty, he’d duel some other far off cracked colossus like Vince in the playoffs, struggle, wince, let it all hang out. Sportscenter loved the man, and who wouldn’t? He was a swaggering little mindfuck in this game of freaks—probably smaller than you—and yet he made even the giants step lightly.

All of which is why it’s so fucked that the image of A.I. I’ve got burned into the backs of my eye isn’t him pounding his chest, or stepping over perennial WNBA All-Star Tyronn Lue. It’s Him cowering, leaving it short again and again in the greasy shadow of Fabricio Fucking Oberto. Hell, half the time Fab and Duncan were both already beat, two steps behind, more then he shoulda needed.

(Not actually branded into the backs of my eyes, that’s an exaggeration. This Internet has shown me some fucked up pornography and such. It’s mostly scar tissue back there, at this point, to be honest.)

But talk about your world being shook. This was worse than when I first ate mushrooms. Had we all been conned? It would be a funny story, but shit I’m here for the game, not to fetishize or eulogize or mythologize or tell stories (well maybe that last one). A.I. needs to be good or else what was that?

You start thinking. So he's East, so he gets to be a legend, cuz of history and media and all that nonsense. But the East sucks. Just who did he beat in his big triumph? Bucks in Seven? Shit. He beat George Karl in seven? Phonz and Bison Dele oughta be legends then. Then he got killed in the Finals after they spotted him one.

The Spurs just spotted us one early in the summer. Didn’t work out either. (I’m a Nuggets fan, shoulda introduced myself.) (And I say “us” sometimes, I know it’s tacky.)

So now it’s coming down to it. He played real well with Melo at the end of the season. But the regular season vs. the playoffs is a police action vs. an apocalypse, in the NBA. And now he’s in the West and suddenly Melo’s chubby ass is carrying HIM? HIM? Damn.

So it comes down to this year and we shall see. I mena, I know he’s good, but so was Nick Van Exel. Iverson now says all the right things, is a good teammate, makes the extra pass, and wilts in the playoffs.

Frankly, I don’t know if I can handle it. You can’t be a God anymore, not for a while, but he was damn close. And now he’s the cool uncle?

We shall see. He’s in camp with the rest of ‘em. Maybe all he needed was a little help.



I might start editing these later. Dunno. For now, HYTOP HAS LEFT THE BUILDING>>>