1. As halftime ends, Coach George Karl of the Denver Nuggets quietly asks Assistant Coach Jamahl Mosely the name of "that stoned-looking kid" who is "always following A.I. around." Mosely correctly identifies Von Wafer and assures Karl that he "can't play."
2. Coach Karl inserts Wafer into the game with 7:57 left in the fourth quarter. Previously he's never been inserted with more than a minute left, because Karl leaves his rotation players in longer than any other coach in the league. He just doesn't give up on games, he's a gritty guy, he wants to win.
3. Coby Karl, rookie combo guard from Boise State, is inserted into the game at the 3:23 mark of the fourth quarter of a blowout. Ohhhhh, I get it.
Coach also fucked up the game in ways that were not on purpose:
- You really want to keep doubling Kobe on the catch, even when he hasn't attempted a shot? When cutters are sashaying unmolested through the lane and the Lakers guards are camping out at the three point line (which is really all they're good for)? Remember when Kobe shot all the time and the Lakers sucked?
- So we're gonna stick with A.I. on Derek Fisher? A.I. who doesn't understand any kind of defense other than, I'll be kind, "roaming and gambling." On Fisher, who has been given so many open shots that he won't miss for the rest of the night (see point 1). Okay then.
- What's the half court offense again?
I know play #1: force the ball to Melo in the post, a few seconds after he had position, and let him 'go to work'.
Play #2 is of course, set a ball screen for A.I., he takes both defenders with him, dribbles around a bunch, and tries to score. That's been pretty effective this year, to be honest.
I guess #3 is when they swing it around a lot and then Camby hoists a jumper.
Last night, Coaching Legend G. Karl added a fourth play: swing it around a bunch and Kenyon flips up a J! Boom! Phil was sweating, let me tell you.
Just so we're clear: the Lakers are a regular season team. Some team will lay some hard fouls in the playoffs, scaring Turiaf, Farmar, Walton, et al. Kobe will start gunning, the way he does when he's cornered. Fisher and Bynum will try to play their roles, but the ball won't come. So put that in the books: almost every matchup is a bad one for the Lakers.
Problem is the Nuggets aren't even a Regular Season Team: they're a "Four Days A Week Team". Accept that they'll take every third (sometimes every other) game off, and have fun watching the ones where they bring it.
THE DENVER NUGGETS: They can beat anyone if everything goes their way and the coach doesn't fuck it up and they have some healthy big men on the night in question and no one gets Ebola and more than half of the team is trying!!!
22.1.08
14.1.08
Things You Should Know
Bad shit is happening around this franchise. No one knows why. We act like it doesn’t bother us. We act like this empire isn’t crumbling, like we aren’t being used, like we belong.
Nene has been stricken by dark forces. I think it’s cancer. They found something in a piss-test and he’s having surgery tomorrow. He gets his dunk blocked by Jason Smith and now this. Nah I don’t have the jokes. Suddenly his trick knees and halting, gravely English aren't funny anymore. At least Fat Nene seemed kind of jolly. He's worked hard to come back sound and sleek and in control, and then this? what did he do wrong? G. Karl is talking cryptically about life-and-death (moreso than usual, and if anyone knows about the C-word, it's Georgie). AC says he almost broke down when they told him. So yeah, NENE is key to this team and all that, but mainly, just get healthy Ne, just survive.
IN OTHER NEWS:::Coach better play Stephen Hunter some, because guess what: Ed Najera is smaller than Melo and LK is secretly 6’5”. There’s a fucking serviceable big on the bench, a proven NBA PLAYER, and he doesn’t see any tick? CISCO ELSON SAW PLENTY OF MINUTES COACH! WAS THE DUTCHMAN TRULY THAT WELL SPOKEN? I’m just saying, 9 minutes a game doesn’t hurt, might help, and i always liked stephen hunter.
They cut bobby jones, and they cut me, too. Cut me deep. Bobby will make it, will have a career, and i will be there laughing with him (through psychic projection, as always).
Problem: Chucky’s done for the season. The experiment didn’t even start. Didn’t even get to fail. It’s like a baby dying in the crib. Nobody wants to see it, not even an abortionist like Steve Blake.
Solution: Clips downturn turns into a tailspin, into a massacre, into an apocalypse. Old man Sam mouths off, Don Sterling buys him out, he comes home to Papa Bear.
Finally, someone who knows how to throw an entry pass. Melo and Nene would get their touches, and in the right spots. AI keeps with this mindblowing ‘intelligent design’ shit he’s been on and keeps running wild. Sam would throw hell of alleyoops in the half court. And of course Sam would make every fucking shot he takes in the fourth quarter.
They’d be horrible defensively on the perimeter, of course, because Sam is slower and ricketier than the Old Timer's game at John Lucas's house, but they would literally score every time (until K-Mart or Camby decides to uncork a ‘jumper’, but we’ll live with that). And Anthony “HARD WORK” Carter aka AC can come in and throw himself on some grenades if it comes to that.
This is a HyTop Wet Dream scenario. Sam is like Nick Van Exel +1 Intelligence -1 Dexterity (fuck you I’m a nerd) and y’all know St Nick is my fave Nug ever.
But back in reality, JR’s gonna play some point, get jerked around by George, have a 10 assist game, turn it over a bunch, try some behind the back passes, get called for carrying it once or twice a game, get a steal and do a 360, fail to throw it off the backboard to himself, get suspended for conduct detrimental, etc. It’s not gonna end, but I’m fine with it. I’ve made my peace. Art doesn't imitate life, it transforms it.
MEANWHILE<><><>Melo’s appeal has always been that you can watch him as he is becoming. His moves happen slow enough and at weird enough angles that you can see, ‘oh shit he’s crossing BACK AGAIN!!!’, see him thinking that along with you. Spins and counter spins. Of course, the refs can see ‘oh he hooked him’ too, which complicates matters. But Melo’s always been messy, been complicated, and now we’re watching him realize some other shit.
He’s not Vince, he sees. That’s beyond him. He doesn’t have those bullets in his gun, he can't wait for those transcendent moments, because he can only reach them half the time. And AI doesn’t know how to get him the easy bucket Andre used to get him, so he’s no longer a slick, high-percentage scorer. But what he can do is rebound as well as any small forward alive (Shawn Marion plays PF) if he’s active and angry. So he’s doing that, cleaning up after himself and AI, and it’s working out alright. I still think he’s lost a step, and might never be last year's model (the height of his unstoppability thus far), but being the meanest, baddest SF in the game (witness him snatching boards from DWIGHT FREAKING HOWARD a couple times) is kind of cool, too. Do what you can to thrive, not everyone's got a guardian angel.
(this post is a mess, but i'm busy at work, you know how it is)
Nene has been stricken by dark forces. I think it’s cancer. They found something in a piss-test and he’s having surgery tomorrow. He gets his dunk blocked by Jason Smith and now this. Nah I don’t have the jokes. Suddenly his trick knees and halting, gravely English aren't funny anymore. At least Fat Nene seemed kind of jolly. He's worked hard to come back sound and sleek and in control, and then this? what did he do wrong? G. Karl is talking cryptically about life-and-death (moreso than usual, and if anyone knows about the C-word, it's Georgie). AC says he almost broke down when they told him. So yeah, NENE is key to this team and all that, but mainly, just get healthy Ne, just survive.
IN OTHER NEWS:::Coach better play Stephen Hunter some, because guess what: Ed Najera is smaller than Melo and LK is secretly 6’5”. There’s a fucking serviceable big on the bench, a proven NBA PLAYER, and he doesn’t see any tick? CISCO ELSON SAW PLENTY OF MINUTES COACH! WAS THE DUTCHMAN TRULY THAT WELL SPOKEN? I’m just saying, 9 minutes a game doesn’t hurt, might help, and i always liked stephen hunter.
They cut bobby jones, and they cut me, too. Cut me deep. Bobby will make it, will have a career, and i will be there laughing with him (through psychic projection, as always).
Problem: Chucky’s done for the season. The experiment didn’t even start. Didn’t even get to fail. It’s like a baby dying in the crib. Nobody wants to see it, not even an abortionist like Steve Blake.
Solution: Clips downturn turns into a tailspin, into a massacre, into an apocalypse. Old man Sam mouths off, Don Sterling buys him out, he comes home to Papa Bear.
Finally, someone who knows how to throw an entry pass. Melo and Nene would get their touches, and in the right spots. AI keeps with this mindblowing ‘intelligent design’ shit he’s been on and keeps running wild. Sam would throw hell of alleyoops in the half court. And of course Sam would make every fucking shot he takes in the fourth quarter.
They’d be horrible defensively on the perimeter, of course, because Sam is slower and ricketier than the Old Timer's game at John Lucas's house, but they would literally score every time (until K-Mart or Camby decides to uncork a ‘jumper’, but we’ll live with that). And Anthony “HARD WORK” Carter aka AC can come in and throw himself on some grenades if it comes to that.
This is a HyTop Wet Dream scenario. Sam is like Nick Van Exel +1 Intelligence -1 Dexterity (fuck you I’m a nerd) and y’all know St Nick is my fave Nug ever.
But back in reality, JR’s gonna play some point, get jerked around by George, have a 10 assist game, turn it over a bunch, try some behind the back passes, get called for carrying it once or twice a game, get a steal and do a 360, fail to throw it off the backboard to himself, get suspended for conduct detrimental, etc. It’s not gonna end, but I’m fine with it. I’ve made my peace. Art doesn't imitate life, it transforms it.
MEANWHILE<><><>Melo’s appeal has always been that you can watch him as he is becoming. His moves happen slow enough and at weird enough angles that you can see, ‘oh shit he’s crossing BACK AGAIN!!!’, see him thinking that along with you. Spins and counter spins. Of course, the refs can see ‘oh he hooked him’ too, which complicates matters. But Melo’s always been messy, been complicated, and now we’re watching him realize some other shit.
He’s not Vince, he sees. That’s beyond him. He doesn’t have those bullets in his gun, he can't wait for those transcendent moments, because he can only reach them half the time. And AI doesn’t know how to get him the easy bucket Andre used to get him, so he’s no longer a slick, high-percentage scorer. But what he can do is rebound as well as any small forward alive (Shawn Marion plays PF) if he’s active and angry. So he’s doing that, cleaning up after himself and AI, and it’s working out alright. I still think he’s lost a step, and might never be last year's model (the height of his unstoppability thus far), but being the meanest, baddest SF in the game (witness him snatching boards from DWIGHT FREAKING HOWARD a couple times) is kind of cool, too. Do what you can to thrive, not everyone's got a guardian angel.
(this post is a mess, but i'm busy at work, you know how it is)
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